Realizing that my departure date for Mongolia is in only two months has me feeling nervously excited in an over-caffeinated, jittery kind of way.
Newton’s Third Law, ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,’ seems to apply to my inner turmoil (no, that’s not too dramatic of a descriptor) as well as physics. I’m excited, I’m scared; I’m calm, I’m nervous; I’m reminding myself I’ve got this, I’m questioning whether the Peace Corps made a mistake. Whiplash. It doesn’t help that my upcoming adventure seems at once fast-approaching and abstract.
To top it off, I’m simply not sure what to expect. I do have a limited academic understanding of the history and cultures of Mongolia thanks to a course I took while studying abroad in Turkey. ‘Emma, you’re ahead of the curve,’ you say, but past experience (re: Turkey) has taught me that knowing a place on paper is not the same as experiencing the place first hand. If you know French, the distinction between savoir and connaître might serve to further elucidate what I mean since English seems to be failing me. (Oh gosh, questioning whether the Peace Corps made a mistake again.)
So where does all this leave me? Rereading the packing list a million times like a mad woman, willing my brain to absorb even the littlest bit of the Mongolian language lessons the Peace Corps provided, and hoping the old fake it ’til you make it strategy continues to convince people that I’m ‘brave’ and ‘fearless’. Wish me luck!